rid of

Dear 2016,

you were not welcomed at all. I was never prepared to receive the hard truths which I had admittedly hoped wouldn’t happen – at least not this year. I lined you up with monthly events, trying to be in total control of them so that I wasn’t going to be blindsided. And even if I was going to be, I was hoping that the areas which I thought I had control over would compensate for those which I didn’t. As with any cliché year-end reflections, I know that there were its ups and downs. The downs pushed me to a point where I was calling suicide hotlines – I never felt so honest to a total stranger before. The sentimental had me reviewing memory after memory, sieving through and deciding whether or not it was even helpful to go there. I was learning to find closure in my memories when life in the present did not give me closure.

As I recap on everything that has happened in 2016, I will acknowledge with gratitude that you weren’t all that bad. There were gains in spiritual growth, professionalism, perspective, friendships, family, and travels. I am sure anyone would say that if not for the lows, you would not be able to recognize the highs; but I don’t know if I’d like to be put through the ordeals in order to gain what I have. I know that the common notion is that every person / experience is a learning lesson; Therefore I thank you, 2016, for making it one of the years I have learnt a lot.

I hope that 2017 will not be as dark as you were; but then again, if I had really learned anything from this year, is that God is always sovereign and that I should give up trying to be in control with the finite mind I have.

Goodbye 2016.